Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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