I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
