i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
