Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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