her vagine was all disorganized.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize