where does the pee come out of this thing
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
