The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
