just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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