What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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