I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
