There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
