obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
time to smoke my breakfast
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
