I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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