"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
please come you make the beer taste better
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
