I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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