its not stalking. its research.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
