You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
