Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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