I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize