Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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