I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
God, I missed his penis.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
