You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
