There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
