that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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