Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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