He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
