why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
