Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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