Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
