I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize