just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I had to cum in my sink.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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