Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
