What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
