I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
