i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
