I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Sober January is a disaster.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
