I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
