I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
