You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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