i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
