Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
