Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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