blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
