Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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