that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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