I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
