Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize