i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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