its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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