oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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