I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Even my vagina gasped.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
