Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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