ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize