ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
