how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
