I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
