I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
