Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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