I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
