How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
