lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize