I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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