The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
