I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
