your room smells of hookers.
And success
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
