Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize