DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
did i just pee glitter
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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