i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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