please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
