he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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