I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize