There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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